I’m sorry I have been so absent lately. Life has gotten busy and frankly you have become quite the nuisance. I know I shouldn’t ignore you, as that seems to make you more upset, but honestly sometimes IT IS THE ONLY THING I CAN DO TO KEEP SANE!
Sorry I am yelling again.
What is it that you are so upset about anyway?
Is it my change of pace? I guess I am not moving around as much these days as writing and researching has kept me stagnant at the kitchen table. I forgot to leave the house again yesterday and you probably needed some fresh air after the way you have been acting.
Is it my tendency to sleep in? It’s been hard with the rain (and yes your pain) to wake up and write about you, especially after the stunts you have been pulling. Along with your tendency to make me keel over, you seem to be playing some emotional games with me as well. Am I thinking too much? Can you not keep up with the racing thoughts in my mind? I guess they have played with my emotions and as such some hormone levels may have been offset. Whatever it is I want to try to fix things. I hate that we are not on good terms.
Maybe you are taking on too much?
I oftentimes wonder if it is really necessary for you to be so incredibly persistent, and consistent. It may be better for you to get a little crazy and run off schedule a bit. You may be feeling uptight because you have become so regimented and regulated. You don’t need to stick to the timeframe that THEY have outlined for you. It is okay to extend your patterns to 34 or even 38 days… honestly THEY can’t do anything about that.
It must be hard to work within such a tight timeframe and you never know what I will do, eat, or say that may cause a disruption in your schedule. Maybe a vacation is needed. I would be okay if you needed some time off. It seems that you are working overtime these days, ensuring every possible symptom you can create endures for days on end. Overworked and misunderstood, it must be getting to you.
I will try to leave the house more and take a break from thinking about you a little. Maybe I have been putting too much pressure on you over the past few weeks, what with all the research and theory. I guess you want some privacy and time away from the persistent interrogation.
Hopefully we can figure this mess out, for both of us not just for me. Contrary to how it may seem, I do care about how you are doing. In fact maybe I care too much. I will back off a little and leave some room for you to figure things out as well.
But the offer of a vacation still stands.