muted concerns

Dear U,

I often wonder if you could talk what you would say.

In the past and still today others have taken the liberty to speak on your behalf. Medical texts, pharmaceutical companies, even holistic healers have all given you a voice.

But have they gotten it right?

The fact that there have been so many disagreements over your nature and character shows that getting your voice right has proven to be quite difficult. I know you speak through physical and emotional symptoms, but these have proven to be rather confusing. I like to think of you as a friend, as someone I can confide in. I know we have our differences, but I often feel that much of what we go through is not really either of our choice. Secretly I like to blame the release of BPA and synthetic hormones into our environment as the root cause to many of the problems in our relationship, but I know they are not entirely to blame. You see I have a special bond with you, one that makes me more aware of who you are. It saddens me to know that some women have no idea what actually happens when you release the egg and they know even less about what happens when menses begins.

Nonetheless, I do care about your well-being and often worry that those who have spoken on your behalf have severely misunderstood who you are.

If I could talk to you every few days throughout my cycle, I like to think you would say things like:

Day 1: Enough with the painkillers, I get it!
Day 3: A hot water bottle would be good right about now.
Day 6: Whoops, I forgot I was hiding that in my back pocket.
Day 10: Today I am going to meditate.
Day 13: Still meditating…
Day 16: I was thinking to grow a baby in you this month, but after the way you just handled the dog, I fear for the little one.
Day 19: I’m cleaning house, this may hurt a bit, but I’m sure a bag of chips will help ease the discomfort.
Day 21: I agree, you have absolutely nothing to wear.
Day 23: That last comment was a little uncalled for. So she forgot the extra bacon, really it is not that serious.
Day 25: Are you still not talking to me because of my bacon comment?
Day 27: Fine! Two can play this game.
Day 35: I accept your apology, but not before I teach you a little lesson…

Obviously there is some fairly biased commentary in the above after the stunts you pulled on me last month. I guess we will see what the next week holds for us, but so far we seem to be on better terms. I need you to know that I really am trying to treat you with the same respect I ask from you. I know that you are fighting with the others to be heard and to function the way you want, but sometimes we need to let go of things and just be.

All in all, if you could talk, menstruation would be a quite wonderful experience for all women. You would explain how and why things happen. Obviously we would all be smitten by your beauty and so no one would contest or make up such crazy thing as a Lysol douching agent. We would actually understand how important you are, how important women are to you and how ridiculous our forefathers (and mothers) of medicine were. Plus we would finally have an answer to one of my most pending questions: Why all the cravings?

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