back to basics

Dear U,

Three weeks fresh out of graduate studies and I am already feeling lost and confused about what will come next for us. U have certainly settled in well to a life of leisure. I guess a day where we are not up late writing, reading and researching will put the body at ease.

So I have to ask, if you could do anything or be anywhere, what would that look like? You must have some perfect environment and/or situation that keeps you happy. I know how we are living right now is quite the luxury. But surely we cannot continue to live a life where we sleep in most days, reading what we want, watching what we want or going where we want, at the time of our choosing.

If only such a life existed as a full-time vocation in North America…

I’m not saying we should never work or go to school, but I think we often feel that we must always be working, learning or doing something to make life worthwhile. Since U and I have had a lot of time to do some real soul-searching, I have to say we are very bad at making sure we enjoy the things that make life worthwhile.

I am not even working full-time or in school and by time I finish all those things that “have” to be done, there is little time to actually do the things I want to do.

I know I often overwork myself and I think most women do the same because women now have the “right” to work. Sometimes it seems that we talk as if we should be getting an education because we can, even though we may not want to. We can have a baby if we want, but only if we want, and if we do we should try to get back to work as quickly as our bodies can recover to show men that we are different from the past, that we can be two people at the same time, a mother and a professional.

And sometimes we do all these things because we want to – we like playing two roles, we are good at it and can’t imagine our lives without the busyness and joy each job brings.

This month I am going to try to do the things that make life worthwhile. And I will do them without caring what others say. I have to get comfortable with the fact that the things that make my life worthwhile will be different from others.

I know it will be hard, but just as I am intentional about getting work done, I want to be intentional about taking care of me, of us and of the things that matter in my life. The work will always be there, but truthfully there will come a time when U, and many others, will no longer be present in my life. For the time we do have together, I think we should make it count.

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