and U thought U had me…

(Disclaimer: I wrote this on a bad day, in the hopes that a better day would come)

Dear U,

A friend once commented on a post and listed her user name as “mad at my uterus”. That pretty much sums up how I am feeling today.

It’s now been 3 months since I heard the depressing news that your lining has decided to attach itself to other areas within me. Lucky for U, no one really know why this happens, and because it is too dangerous to remove, I guess I’m stuck with more of  U than I’d like.

If U were an actual person, I’m convinced U’d be laughing at me, or maybe U’d be sad for me, one or the other. While I try to be positive that the many amounts of supplements (Progesto-Mend, Zinc, Vitamin C, Calcium, Magnesium, Vitamin D, Pro-biotic, Omega 3’s, Vitamin B6) and dietary restrictions (goodbye wheat, dairy, caffeine… all things tasty) I’ve been trying out may lead to improvement in symptoms, the symptoms of this past cycle suggests the opposite.

I’m going to be honest with U.

U make it really, really hard to like U.

To want to keep U.

To care for U and above all respect U and the life process U offer.

Basically, I find it incredibly ironic that U can carry both intense pain and life.

The body is funny that way, isn’t it?

I’m not giving up. I want to, really badly, but I’m not going to stop trying to find relief. I like to believe that U are on my side. Some days are easier than others, but I know if U could, U would try to make things better. Or that’s what I tell myself to keep from simply saying goodbye to you for good.

I want U to be a part of me for a long time to come. I know U’d want the same. So maybe, just maybe U can step up your game a bit and pitch in every once in a while?

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One comment on “and U thought U had me…

  1. […] being diagnosed, I’ve gone through some tough weeks of failed treatment, but am hopeful that things may change with new attempts. Even still, although […]

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